He's Just not that into You... I mean Me

The excuses… I’ve heard them all. Every time a friend calls and says, “He didn’t call”, “He’s too busy”, “He’s not ready for a relationship” or “It’s bad timing”, I tell her one thing and one thing only… “He’s just not that into you”. Yes I’ve read the book, and I’ve passed on the good word “He’s Just Not That Into You”.

Why is it then, that when I here the same excuses I can’t convince myself that he’s not that into me? I know if I were giving advice to me, I would say… “Honey, he’s just not that into you” Seriously, if a guy really likes you, he will make it happen, good or bad timing, ready or not. I’ve had the guy who wasn’t ready date … not that it didn’t end in a disaster, but the point is, he wasn’t ready, it was bad timing, yet he still made it happen, because he wanted it to. So these guys who are using this as an excuse are getting away with only one thing… our feelings. Giving us false hope is not cool. In fact it is the exact opposite of cool… it’s out right shitty. Do they realize they are doing this to us? Do they think they are being kind by giving us a glimpse of hope that we turn into a, dare I call it, a relationship. We will sit and discuss these men, try to figure out these men, and worst of all WAIT for these men. As if time is really the issue. I have fallen for it once, maybe even twice…and I will fall for it again, the only thing I can say to my friends, is please slap some sense into me when you see me fall for “bad timing guy”. “I like you but I’m not ready” can mean one of two things: The more obvious one ‘let’s have sex until I’m ready… and when I’m ready, I’ll be dating someone that isn’t you… Oh, and thanks again for the sex’. Or he just likes the attention, it might be true, he might not be ready to date, but tells you he likes you too keep you interested and him feeling good about himself. These guys don’t give up … if you don’t have sex with them, that’s okay, because they are earning your trust. You think; well he isn’t trying to get in to my pants he must really like me. Nope… not the case. What he is thinking is, I’m not dating anyone right now… she’ll do me eventually. Chin up and pants on, it’s time to take charge. Let’s have them wonder… “Is she, just not that into me?”

Do people in relationships not remember what it was like to be single?

Someone in a relationship cannot actually answer this question… why? Because their answer would be ‘Yes’, but the truth is more then likely ‘No’ they don’t remember. If they did, they wouldn’t set you up with people with whom you had nothing in common, other then being single as well. They wouldn’t try to set you up on a group date so you could have an audience on your first date. And they wouldn’t embellish if not flat out exaggerate how great the other person is. This of course causes you to then spend the rest of the date asking yourself, how much have I been built up or exaggerated? Can I live up to the super women my friends may have made me out to be? You are so preoccupied thinking about the impression you are making, or him not living up to the legend, you probably have a horrible time on what could have been a pretty good date, or at least a good dinner.

So many other questions arise from this; Are these friends who set you up really your friends? What is more offensive, that they set you up or that they thought you were so desperate for love that you would somehow disregard the fact that your respective date is socially inept and jump into his arms because he is willing to take you? Why is being single such a bad thing? Why do people feel sorry for those of us who don’t have a life long companion?

It is true, I’d like to find someone to spend my life with, my life is good, and full… wanting to share my experiences with someone does not make me a desperate women. It makes me a woman who has room to let someone in, someone, not just anyone.