Why are we in a state of constant analysis?
Even in the best relationships 90% of the time is spent analyzing them. Good, bad, neutral, regardless of how the relationship is going it seems as though we feel the need to dissect it, analyze it and then tell our theory to all our friends (and some strangers). I’m not sure if this is to reassure ourselves of something, or to have them convince us we are wrong, but whatever the reason we can’t help but do it. This is why women are constantly asking men the question “What are you thinking?” it’s because we really don’t know, and “Nothing” is not a good enough answer.
Men have to realize the question the hardest part for us, because ultimately our fear is that they will respond with “I’m thinking you ask too many questions and I’m breaking up with you.” when they say “nothing” we think it can’t possibly be nothing, it has to be something, and if he’s not telling me it’s bad. My advice to men, always say, “I’m thinking of how sexy you are.” That would make me happy… and stop analyzing sh*t for at least 10 minutes.
They say men are difficult but I still think it’s us, women. I admit I am guilty of it too… Actually I am the queen of it. I’ll be the first to tell my girlfriends to stop analyzing and enjoy life, yet as soon as I’m interested in a guy I’m become a paranoid schizophrenic. If our guy is totally into us and treats us like a queen we think he is needy. If our guy isn’t attentive enough we assume he doesn’t like us. We are constantly trying to figure out what makes them tick, yet don’t believe them when they tell us. I don’t think it’s because we don’t trust men, I think it’s a lack of self-confidence for the most part, but also a defence mechanism. I think by reviewing and analyzing and turning the relationship into some sort of equation that we have to ‘figure out’ we can separate ourselves from the emotional part of it and then if it doesn’t work we can’t be upset because we saw it coming, or at least we should have if we did our homework.
